Listening & Hearing: Keys to Making Progress in LifeListening & Hearing: Keys to Making Progress in Life The Seven "Sins" of Not Hearing
Again Jesus said, Mark 4:23, "If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear." 24] And He said to them, "Take heed what you hear. With the same measure you use, it will be measured to you; and to you who hear, more will be given. 25] For whoever has, to him more will be given; but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him."
The seven "sins" of not listening (Adapted from Dan Bobinski). These are not biblical sins, but instances of "missing the mark" where it concerns listening.
Sin #1: Filtering. This is when a person's mind is sifting through another's words and tuning in only when he or she hears agreement. Commonly, a Filterer replies to someone else's statements with "yeah, but…."
Sin #2: Second Guessing. Someone who is second guessing usually misses important details because they are too busy (a) imagining someone has hidden motives for saying what they're saying, and (b) trying to figure out what those hidden motives might be.
Sin #3: Discounting. This sin occurs when a listener lacks respect for a speaker. What the speaker is saying could be 100% dead on correct, but a Discounter will either internally or publicly scoff at what's being said, for any number of reasons. The sad thing about Discounters is that they often miss the solutions to the problems before them, simply because they don't like the source.
Sin #4: Relating. A Relater is someone who continually finds references from his or her own background and compares them to what the speaker is saying. Relaters often appear self - centered, as everything they hear is publicly compared or contrasted to his or her own experiences.
Sin #5: Rehearsing. This sin blocks much listening as it is simply waiting for the other speaker to finish what he or she is saying so the Rehearser can start talking again. While someone else is talking, the Rehearser is thinking about how to say the next sentence. Different from the Filterer in that the other party may actually be agreeing with the Rehearser, but any words other than the Rehearser's own are just noise.
Sin #6: Forecasting. Someone who takes an idea from the speaker and runs light years ahead of the topic at hand is forecasting. Forecasting can stem from being bored with the subject matter, or simply because one's mind automatically thinks ahead.
Sin #7: Placating. One of the worst of all listening sins, placating agrees with everything anyone else says, just to avoid conflict.