Firm Foundation with Bryan Hudson

Ephesians 5:25-33, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Peter 3:7, Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding [knowledge], giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker [delicate] vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Proverbs 4:3-4, Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

1 John 3:18, My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 19 And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.

Today’s view of marriage in popular society has changed in ways that we know very well. However, God’s view of biblical marriage, which we call Holy Matrimony, has not changed. For believers in Christ, God’s word is our guide. We live and walk by the high standards and grace-filled principles of the Bible. A lot of what we see in marriages, that are failing at the rate of 50%, is people walking in their understanding and selfish ways. People certainly have the right to not follow God or obey the Scriptures, but true Christians do not have an alternative—nor do we desire an alternative.

Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church."

A mystery is not something hidden. It is something revealed to those who have "ears to hear" and "eyes to see" what the Lord is saying and showing. Jesus is either "Lord of all" or He is not "Lord at all" in your life.

The husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. What is the revealed mystery of Christ’s relationship to His church?

1. He makes holy (special, “other than”).
2. Provide care and support
3. Loves us more than we love ourselves
4. Unified and not divided: One

Summary: However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Respect Defined: A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others

Anyone who has a leadership position has a greater responsibility before God. That includes husbands. Leadership needs follow-ship to be effective. As the old saying goes: “He that leads and no one follows is taking a walk.”

LISTEN TO AUDIO OF TEACHING

Teaching notes and DISC self-assessment tool: http://newcovenant.org/Cultivating_Growing_Relationships.pdf

2 Corinthians 5:14 For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; 15 and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. 16 Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Because attitudes and relationships need to “grow,” we have to pay attention to the “soil” and foundation of relationships. That soil begins with our own hearts and minds. As Myles Munroe taught, the key to being single or being in a relationship is being whole in yourself. My lesson today will look at relationships from the perspective of cultivating our own hearts. We will address the important of having a good attitude or mindset.

“Cultivate” is a farming term. Cultivation is not only about growing plants. It is mainly about preparing the soil and working the ground to raise good crops.

“A good attitude will not always change our circumstances, but it will always change us.” ~ John Maxwell

Attitude is not what people perceive. It is not something we figure our in others. Attitude is your internal disposition. It is something we figure out in ourselves.

Your attitude or mindset determines your altitude, or how high and far you can go. In relationships we learn to navigate attitudes, moods, and mindsets. We should operate at a higher level of relating spiritually, but no one is purely spiritual.

2 Cor. 5:16 Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, the word "attitude" means "an internal position or feeling with regard to something else." Other words often used as synonyms are: "disposition, feeling, mood, opinion, sentiment, temper, tone, perspective, frame of mind, outlook, view, or morale."

Airplane pilots often use "attitude" to describe their relationship the horizon during flight and with the runway for landing.

We have to manage the “version” of ourselves and our spouses and high level relationships.

Ephesians 4:22 NIV, "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off the old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds."

Ephesians 4:2-3, TLB. "Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Be led together by the Holy Spirit to be at peace with one another."

We have to pay attention to personality types, both within ourselves and others.

DISC is a well understood and widely accepted model of behavior styles. The letters DISC stand for:

DOMINANT

INFLUENCE

STEADINESS

CONSCIENTIOUS

DISC measures a person’s natural, hard-wired behavioral style. It focuses on a person’s natural, most comfortable way of doing things. This model is mainly designed to help each person become self-aware and then to respect the behavior styles of others

A Definition of Friend – A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest too. Friendship is a two way relationship where both parties give and receive.
Jesus expounds to his disciples the true meaning of friendship.
John 15:9-15 - We learn from this text is that Jesus wants a relationship with his followers. Not just religious devotion, but a loving, sincere, committed relationship and friendship.

There are four levels of relationship:

1. There are acquaintances
2. There are colleagues/co-workers/partners
3. There is Christian/Kingdom Covenant with fellow believers in Christ
4. And there are true friends (Including spouse)

KEY POINT #1: True friends experience a high level of agreement
KEY POINT #2: True friends are mutually loyal and dependable
KEY POINT #3: True friends confide in one another.
KEY POINT #4: True friends speak highly of one another and empower one another, especially in times of uncertainty.

Watch the teaching below (Join us for Part Two Sunday, March 10)

Part One also Available now on Podcast:

PODBEAN: https://bryanhudson.podbean.com/e/loveworks-part-one-jesus-our-example-of-friendship/

ITUNES: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/firm-foundation-with-bryan-hudson/id81271386

TUNEIN: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Self-Development/Firm-Foundation-with-Bryan-Hudson-p1088629/

Illustration: Roman Genn from National Review

A lot of people seem to think “having a conversation” is the gold standard of progress. This is especially true regarding the topic of “race.”

In fact, casual conversations often have the unintended consequence of promoting ignorance and catering to “low information” people, especially on Facebook. This can only fuel false narratives—that cripple true progress. An ill-conceived “conversation” will take you off your “wall” of God's purpose (Nehemiah 6:2) and into distraction and inaction.

If each one of us is not prepared to deal with racism and bigotry (which is the actual “racial” problem in my view) within our spheres of influence, it is pointless to talk about “racial harmony.” Any real restoration project does not paint over damage and pretend it is not there.

Talking can be a form of self-deception if we’re not prepared to act. As the Bible says, “Be a doer of the word.” James went on to say that only hearing (and I'll suggest talking) leads to self-deception. (James 1:22-25)

If Nehemiah had come off of the wall to go into a conversation, he would not have completed his assignment--and his people would have suffered. Besides, he knew that the invitation to attend a meeting in Ono would lead to his demise. (Nehemiah 6:2)

When you look at people, past and present, who are effective in making a difference, they don’t spend a lot of time in conversation with people who are not in a position to do anything, they act. Dr. King was a supreme example of this.

Meeting or talking to strategize for action is the only conversation in which I am interested. If you have ever looked at a long Facebook thread about “race,” what you witnessed is mostly a “pooling” of ignorance and false narratives. Worse is putting wisdom and foolishness on the same moral plane.

As the old saying goes, "Talk is cheap."
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Here is a great article from Ebony Magazine pushing back against the conventional wisdom that “having a conversation” is always needed: https://www.ebony.com/news/race-conversation/

Here is a thought provoking article from National Review: https://www.nationalreview.com/2016/08/race-relations-getting-worse-america-why/

Psalm 119:89 Forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven. 90 Your faithfulness endures to all generations; You established the earth, and it abides. 91 They continue this day according to Your ordinances, For all are Your servants. 92 Unless Your law had been my delight, I would then have perished in my affliction. 93 I will never forget Your precepts, For by them You have given me life. 94 I am Yours, save me; For I have sought Your precepts. 95 The wicked wait for me to destroy me, But I will consider Your testimonies. 96 I have seen the consummation of all perfection, But Your commandment is exceedingly broad.

We will conclude this devotional with a portion from Psalms 119, which is the longest “chapter” in the Bible. There are 22 stanzas, each stanza having been composed to correspond with the 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet. The first word of each stanza begins with the correlating Hebrew letter.

The stanza beginning at verse 89 is labeled with the Hebrew letter ל LAMED.

David summarized this part of the Psalms, and perhaps provided his most enduring insight on God's integrity, when he wrote, "Forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven.Your faithfulness endures to all generations."

As we consider these words, capture a picture of your ultimate hope and God's unlimited provision. Our lives are not subject to the passing trends, changes, and difficulties that come and go. We are established upon something much more powerful and enduring, "I will never forget Your precepts, For by them You have given me life."

The Lord and His Word, who is Jesus Christ, is the very best of all the best things in this world and in the world to come. "I have seen the consummation of all perfection, But Your commandment is exceedingly broad."

Amen! (So be it!)
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Reflection Question: What are 2-5 things you have gained from the Lord over the past four weeks that have changed your life forever?

Thank you for going on this journey in Psalms with me! It has been a joy writing these lessons, sharing them, and believing for God's best in your life!

Feel free to send a note of testimony or make a donation if you were blessed!

Pastor Bryan Hudson